I recently got into a discussion with an office colleague about the disposal of spent nuclear rods via a rocket shot into space. The spirited debate, as to what to do with our leftover nuclear waste, continued for a while and increased in audience. The overwhelming reasoning for not packing a missle with our old, really hot, radiation oozing rods (and used tires) and launching it to destination 'way the hell out of sight' was......., yep you guessed it, .....intergalactic warfare. Not the possibility of taking out the moon by accident or our satellite tv channels for that matter, but E.T. and ALF pissed to the gills and packing heat. In distant second was the possibility that the rocket would explode and shower the earth in radiation, pretty much guaranteeing our next generation a second set of opposable thumbs and glowing smiles, actual glowing smiles. Though curtain number two seems the most realistic to me, I want to focus on the inevitable retaliation from the aliens lying in wait for us to use outer space as a never ending diaper genie. The ones believed to be ok with whatever we are doing on earth as long as we're not sending a Waste Management spacecraft packed with the main ingredient of Twinkies their way. I know you're thinking it. Why should we be galactic litter bugs? Isn't it bad enough that we clutter the earth like we do? You do know space is endless right? Hey, I feel the same way, but the fact that we have a very nasty radioactive issue on our hands that will not just go away for another 300 years in factories built to last 75 and most people will vote to let it fester on the planet, that until today I was 100% convinced contained intelligent life forms, because of the possibility that somewhere in the big universe there may be life and the rocket shot into space may eventually hit that planet and the life forms will take it offensively and they can trace it back to the right planet and they have the technology to come all this way back with a bunch of weapons and our own weapons would be useless against them? That's a whole lot of 'ands'. Yet that is numero uno on the list if 'why nots'. Well, I've got an answer for that one. Just as Mark Wahlberg was to the ape takeover in the SOP post, Will Smith is to this little dilemma. Noone in the universe is better equipped for alien retaliation than this guy. So I am confidant that, in the million years it would take for the space garbage truck packed with uranium to collide with another planet full of 'Go ahead, make my day' minded space cowboys, even if they use a time machine to come back to whip our asses real time, we've got it covered. Which is kind of ironic seeing our most realistic form of time travel to date would require a nuclear reaction to accomplish. 1.21 gigawatts to be precise. One thing we may be overlooking is the possibility that alien lifeforms may need radiation in their diets to sustain a healthy lifestyle. We may actually be helping them out and as they lie in wait planning the 'We are coming to take your uranium at any cost necessary' mission, this might make them reconsider. So fling it out there world. What's the worst that can happen? We know what the worst that can happen here on earth is. If you don't beleive me, ask Bigfoot. But hey, maybe having two tails is an advantage for a dog. - And speaking of aliens, why not click the alien below and give me some props?
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