Sunday, January 1, 2012

Winter Mini Blizzards

Where to start? So many topics to talk about. Let's start with the disclaimer. First of all I will probably offend everyone at one point or another but I believe I will offended everyone equally without bias. Today's topic: The Mini Blizzard. Now if you live in a wintry place that gets lots of snow, you know what I'm talking about. The amazing mini blizzards that are generated from the giant Mohawk of snow left on the rooftop of cars by drivers unwilling to clear it off. Well I'm here to defend my fellow mini blizzard generaters. While white knuckling the steering wheel in the winter hoping not the skid into oncoming traffic or into a ditch, I enjoy the entertainment a mini blizzard gives. For those of you lucky folks that have never had the pleasure of sub zero weather and frostbite, a mini blizzard is generated from a vehicle that, after having been left out during a big snowfall, has not been fully cleaned of snow prior to entering the highway. The force from high speeds causes the snow to blow off the top of the vehicle onto the street behind the vehicle. It is a majestic sight to behold. Kind of like the wind tunnel smoke that commercials use to show how aerodynamic a car is. Well, most people are anti-mini blizzard. Why? I'm not quite sure but I do hear plenty of excuses and reasoning. Most of them say it is dangerous to the cars behind them. The driver is too lazy to clean their car fully, or it just plain looks stupid. These are valid reasons. Valid for any obsessive compulsive, bitter, old, crybaby, or just plain bitchy person. But for those of us who do not take offense or just actually don't care I say let the snow fall where it may. You see, it is not all that practical to clean the top of your vehicle every time it snows. The widows are vertical for a reason. That reason being, we need to look around us while driving, not up. Now that would be just plain silly. Another great reason to support your own snowy Mohawk is the likelihood that cleaning it will cause you to get snow, dirt, salt and whatever is on the side of your car on your pants. That just sucks. Snow in your boots and dirt on your pants? And for what? So you can look out through your sunroof while driving. Like I said. Silly. Now to tackle the topic of the dangers of the mini blizzard. Even the best of them only trail your car or truck by about four or five feet before turning to a light dusting. The real danger is the car that is following you within that five feet on the highway yelling "Clean off you goddam car you jackass. I can't see a thing! Your gonna get me killed!" This is the real danger. So sit back and enjoy. For simply looking at someone's license plate while tailgating them just isn't that much fun. Revelling in a great mini blizzard is like catching a wave you can hang ten on. It's the most fun you can have on a snowy highway short of watching someone skid into oncoming traffic or careen into a ditch. 2KVMN77VCC65


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